Aug 18, 2002

Mindekirken
18 August 2002

Pr. Jens Arne Dale

"You who pray for your child" Matthew 15:21-28

In olden days in Norway, there was a word called "Bytting." If a woman gave birth to a child who developed in an unnatural way, many thought the trolls had been there at night before the child was baptized and stolen the child, and placed a troll baby in the cradle instead. We regard this as pagan superstition, but it’s hard for us to imagine how bad it could be to be the father or mother of a child who people considered as "bytting."

Today, it’s not suspicion and scorn that meet the ones who get a child who is different. In spite of failures, health care, school and society act out of consideration for the ones who have special needs. Even though it may be hard to have a child who is different in one way or another. What do we say to a couple of friends who have a son or a daughter with a handicap? Do we say: "So sad.", Or do we say unconditionally: "Congratulations with the wonderful girl or boy". I hope we would say the latter. At a family service, I told about God who created flowers, trees and animals. But the most beautiful thing God created is here, I said, and held up a packet. "Who will open it?" Many children raised their hands, and I picked out one. But at the very moment she came up and started to tear off the paper, I realized that she had Downs Syndrome. It was very quiet when she opened it, and sparkling with joy, she held up what was within the packet. The finest thing that God has created. It was a mirror where she could see herself. To be a human being is to be created by the Lord, wanted and loved by him, even when the number of chromosomes is something other than normal. At the same time, many parents of children with physical and mental handicaps tell about an enormously demanding work and reconciliation process. The parental role gets to be something other than expected in such cases.

Some parents have to live with the fact that their children get older and become drug addicts. Being a father or mother is not annulled if one’s son or daughter becomes a criminal. Even a murderer has a mother. The examples I have picked have nothing to do with each other. But it is to remind us that we are very vulnerable when it comes to our children. How is it to attend a respectable congregation, as for instance Mindekirken, keeping the knowledge to oneself: "I have a son who is gay" I don’t have anyone special in mind, but it might have felt shameful for a father or mother if that were the case. It might have been something one wouldn’t like to talk about because it would be too unpleasant. But denial also has its price and pain. In a congregation where love is the ideal, we should not pretend as if the unpleasant things didn’t exist. Propriety must never be allowed to be more important than the truth. Our Kyrie call becomes superficial if we are not honest about the difficult things in our lives.

It’s the parental role I’ll talk about today. The reason is that we in today’s text meet a mother whose daughter was tormented by a demon, or an unclean spirit as Mark says. We don’t know exactly what it was like to be tormented by an unclean spirit, but the life situation of the girl must have been really bad, and her mother’s life must have been distinguished by shame, grief, humiliation and despair. But she recognized her daughter, however much she was tormented by an evil spirit. She loved her child and fought for her against others’ despising and rejection. The text today is a greeting to everybody who in one way or another has to fight for one’s child, either against people’s prejudice or health care, schools or other social institutions. This woman’s fight was against Jesus. It’s almost like in the Old Testament where we read about Jacob’s fight with the Lord where he in the end says: "I will not let you go, unless you bless me." Gen. 32:26

"Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David." The mother’s cry is the same as we have in the Kyrie call in our service. "Kyrie eleison." "My daughter is tormented by a demon." What did Jesus answer? Nothing. The disciples got impatient. Now the Greek text doesn’t say clearly what they said. It could have been: "Send her away." Or "Take care of her". But Jesus’ rejection is very clear. "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.: But how could we explain such a rejection? The episode happened in what today is South Lebanon. The woman did not belong to the Jewish people. In the first round Jesus saw his task limited to them. Paul says that the gospel is for Jews first, and then Greek. That means all other people. It’s first after his resurrection, Jesus clearly says: Go and make disciples of all nations." When we read the Acts of the Apostles we realize what an enormous step it was to open for the heathens. Or as Paul says: "There is no longer Jew or Greek, There is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male or female; for you are one in Christ Jesus." Gal. 3:28

Heathen or not, the mother fights with the courage of despair for her daughter. She knelt before Jesus and cried: "Lord, help me." What did Jesus answer? I don’t know if I like the answer. "It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs. " Isn’t Jesus condescending when he calls her a dog? Indeed, this was the common Jewish way to express oneself, and it puts the continuation of the story in an even stronger contrast. Because here Jesus meets the princess no one could silence. She quarrels with Jesus, and catches him literally in his own words. She allows Jesus those words. Feel free to call me a dog. "But yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table." This became the turning point in the meeting between Jesus and this mother. Jesus said: "Woman, great is your faith. Let it be done for you as you wish." And even if the girl was at another place, she got healed at that very moment. So this also happened to be a story about Jesus giving people back life and worth. It’s a story about his power as the Son of God and his care about people who feel their life is hard.

Here we learn something about helplessness, faith and prayer. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says that we don’t need to use a lot of words when we pray. "Pray and you will receive." An answer to prayers doesn’t depend on how clever we are to pray, but on the grace of God. The Lord’s prayer is the basic prayer. When we pray it, we cover all. But today’s text opens up another chapter in the school of prayer. It is the persevering prayer, the prayer that is like a fight. Jesus himself experienced this more than anyone else, in Gethsemane. There he prayed so strongly and perseveringly that his sweat came out as blood on his forehead. It’s maybe too much to say that we may have our Gethsemane nights in prayer. But there are situations in life when everything is at stake and there is no one else to stick to than God. When we read through the Bible we meet a lot of people who’s only hope was God. We read about the prayers that moved God. But we also read about people that God moved by prayer. It’s useful to pray.

Glory be to God, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, one true God, now and forever. Amen.

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